Yule Eat Your Heart Out

This is just gonna be a bit on my quarantine munchies. No big news because I have no big activities. Today’s track is Yule Shoot Your Eye Out by Fallout Boy. Holiday song, breakup song, and pop-punk? Perfect. ^{edit: in hindsight the Venn diagram between "breakup song" and "pop-punk song" is almost a circle so this isn't actually an accomplishment}

This bottle of tea tells you how long to microwave it if you want it hot!

The quarantine requirements in Japan aren’t as strict as I’ve heard about in other countries (for example, in Taiwan you can’t actually leave your quarantine place or you’ll face a huge fine). I am allowed to leave my tiny home for essentials and I can’t meet my food delivery people. I’m not allowed to take public transit (including taxis), I’m supposed to take my temperature and email it in every day, I have a bluetooth-based contact tracing app installed, and I’m supposed to have Google Maps location history on. I was kind of hoping it would be like South Korea where they give you a box of essentials so you don’t have to leave at all but alas Japan is not quite at that level.

At first I was surviving off of Uber Eats and the Family Mart (a convenience store) across the street. If you aren’t familiar with Japanese convenience stores in general, the main thing to take away is that their food, although kind of basic, is generally replenished a few times a day. So if you were imagining getting a hot dog from a gas station, it’s at least three levels above that. The variety is decent, so far I’ve had:

• Spicy tofu - possibly the palest imitation of mapo tofu I’ve ever experienced in my life. But I like spicy and tofu, 5/10

• Spicy tofu ramen - literally the same tofu, but with broth and noodles. Better in this form, actually 6.5/10

• Spicy chicken - This was a rectangle of breaded and fried chicken thigh that was highly reminiscent of a hot chicken sandwich from Wendy’s. Acceptable. Would have been better if I had gotten it fresh for stronger crispiness. 6/10

• Basically a “Thai” chicken salad in a wrap. Peanut dressing was good. 7/10

• Bento with bonito/nori rice, mentaiko (spicy cod roe), a small piece of fried fish, a fish cake, a small piece of fried chicken thigh, a little bit of omelette, and half a croquette. Some picked daikon and gobo (burdock root) on the side. Good flavor variety, high value. 7/10

• Mentaiko spaghetti - exactly what it says on the tin. Probably my weakest meal so far. I’ve had good versions of this so it’s not like I dislike the concept, just this execution. 3/10

• Red bean and mochi dango in whipped cream - surprisingly delicious, but maybe I was starved from sugar for not really getting anything sweet for a while. 8/10

Most food is stored cold but they’ll heat it up for you if you want. Sometimes I’ll buy more than one meal at a time so I don’t have to shamefully show my face in the store more than once a day. Because the employees just kind of toss it in the microwave, I figured that I would be safe doing the same at home with the extra meals that I purchased. Seems low risk, right? It is not. I have some kind of microwave/toaster oven hybrid whose buttons I cannot read, and for one of my meals I inadvertently activated the toast part, and started to melt the packaging. I realized it before the food leaked out though, so crisis averted. I will be much more cautious in the future. Oh also, there is apparently demand for vacuum-sealed corn on the cob?

Individually packaged, of course — this is Japan. “One corn, please.”

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Before we go to Uber Eats, just look at this SoftBank ad. It’s got so much going on, including what appears to be one second of Bruce Willis?

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From Uber Eats, I’ve had

• Sushi - just look how pretty it is. 8/10

The “beady” one in the middle is seaweed covered with… something. I’m at a point where I usually trust Japanese food and will just eat it.

• Raw salmon bowl - salmon, salmon roe (ikura), rice. Fish was good, rice was disappointingly not as much. But the fish/ikura combo carried the flavor. 7.5/10

• Katsudon - fried pork cutlet, egg, sauce. SImple, good, 8/10

• Katsu curry - The curry was in a separate container for pouring over the rice/cutlet. Look at this neat box that keeps the cutlet breading from getting soggy. On par with the other katsu because I ordered them from the same place at the same time. 8/10

“Katsu” is not a fancy word, it from “katsuretsu”, which is just “cutlet”, lol.

As of this writing, I’m surviving off of only Famima. In 2013, I got banned from Uber for spoofing phone numbers for referral credit (don’t judge me, Uber is expensive when you don’t have a full-time job), and the ban has caught up to me again in the world of Uber Eats. I will have to figure out another way to get tasty food. Today I made my first expedition slightly further down the block to the drugstore for some soap/detergent, but also snacks and tea. It’s just not economical to buy cold individual bottles; I’ve got to be a responsible adult.

But this bottle is definitely worth it.

End of an Era

This photo is actually from my 2018 trip but I didn’t have a window seat this time so this is what you get.

I meant to write a pre-departure post, but life has been a hot mess so I’ve only started writing this on the plane. It’ll probably get finished as I wait for my arrival COVID test at the airport or once I get to my temporary apartment in Shinjuku. The soundtrack for this post is Summer Wars’ End of an Era.

This band is named after an anime film (I asked them on Twitter to be sure). I highly recommend it, it’s pretty cute and it even has a giant global social network as a plot point!

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This day/week/month/year truly does mark the end of many eras – some long, some short. Some of these transitions are exciting but none are without at least a tinge of bittersweetness. The eras of San Francisco (and this my American life), Facebook, Odie, a relationship, and Christmas at home are all over, at least for now. But the sad parts of life make the happy parts that much sweeter, and I will keep my eyes on the horizon for the good things to come.

As I’m sure you can imagine (or perhaps, have experienced yourself), the entire process of immigrating to another country has a lot of hoops to jump through. Unsurprisingly, COVID has made it much harder. The past weeks have seen me ruthlessly Marie-Kondo-ing my possessions, and I probably should have been even harsher than I was.

If you want to be a snob when people talk about Marie Kondo, remind them that “Marie” has three syllables.

I sent a total of six (6!) full trash bags to GoodWill (and their schedule was so messed up that my first dropoff didn’t occur until my fourth attempt, ugh), four grocery-sized bags to Best Buy (electronics/cable recycling) and five bags to landfill (sorry Earth, I recycled/donated/sold as much as I could). This is all after an extensive Facebook Marketplace campaign (at least 30 listings) in which I aggressively priced everything from half of market price to free. In addition to all this sorting and selling (and dealing with flaky people on the internet), I had to coordinate:

• Two sets of movers

• How to get Kuma home (REMARKABLY HARD, I went through four different plans over time)

• When to fly (dependent on the relocation company and available COVID testing)

• When to get COVID tested (dependent on what flights were good/available)

The circle of international COVID air travel

The most stressful part was definitely waiting for the COVID results (not because I thought I would test positive, I just needed a negative result in-hand to fly). I took three tests 72-48 hours before departure (of the final leg of the flight, which is kind of inconvenient but I get why), and I got two of them two hours before my first flight (at 6:03 and 6:04, seriously). Worse, I didn’t even know that I got one of the results because it went to spam. I don’t know if I should blame the clinic or Gmail but it’s all bad. In hindsight I should have tried to search same-day or next-day private clinics, but the one I went to was the one linked by the Consulate General of Japan and I figured they knew what was up.

“They did not.”

— Narrator

I barely got any sleep last night, and every time I woke up (many times) I would refresh my email looking for results. I did come up with a basic contingency plan for canceling and rescheduling, but it didn’t make me feel much better. When 6am rolled around this morning, I still didn’t have results but one lab did show my sample as “Testing” for 5 hours (the other labs have provided no intermediary updates), so on a prayer I started loading the car anyway. And by George I got my results by the skin of my teeth. Holy shit. I had read from others’ experiences online that showing a digital copy on a phone was sufficient, so I screenshotted the page and was on my way. At check-in, the Air Canada rep looked at my digital results and let me through with no issue (can you tell there will be an issue soon?). On my flight to YVR I caught up on the last two episodes of good old Mando so let’s have an intermission here. Skip to the next subheader if you just want to read about me and/or Japan.

GENERAL STAR WARS DISCUSSION, IMMATURE LANGUAGE, EXCESSIVE USE OF PARENTHETICALS (99% PARENTHETICALS) AND SPOILERS FOR THE MANDALORIAN AHEAD

Holy shit this show is popping off so hard it is unbelievable. First the Night Owls (with Bo looking like her animated self since the character was actually modeled after the actress) and Ahsoka, then actually getting Temuera Morrison (and his sensual voice, “just a simple man trying to make his way in the universe”) back as an incredible badass? Seeing Boba and the Slave I in high def is definitely a treat, and but the fact that he was actually kicking ass (instead of having his jetpack slapped and getting sent into the sarlacc) was incredible. I am shook.

c o n t i n u i t y

Then the DARK TROOPERS? And the DARK SABER (yes I know revealed in S1 but we still see it again)! AND THE DEPTH CHARGE OUT THE BACK OF SLAVE I WITH A SOUND EFFECT DESIGNED BY GOD HIMSELF UGHHHH. Also, Space Bill Burr™ is good fun too.

“Space Boston is real and it is terrifying.”

— some guy on reddit who made me laugh

Let’s talk about the REST of Star Wars that just got announced by god what a time. If you’ve talked about the sequel trilogy with me you know I think it’s basically a huge missed opportunity and an extreme example of what a lack of planning can do, HOWEVER. We are now getting an Ahsoka live action (technically a spin-off of The Clone Wars), a show about the Bad Batch (a squad of malformed clones with a Suicide Squad vibe, also a TCW spin-off), a Sith-focused show (The Acolyte), a couple other things, but and then a ROGUE SQUADRON FILM?! Give me fucking Top Gun in space please. Tom Cruise can have a cameo, I don’t care. The space combat scenes from the more recent films look absolutely stunning (especially you, Rogue One). I absolutely cannot wait for an entire film of this. gib plz ༼ つ ◕_◕༽つ

If you couldn’t tell from the general excitement around Ahsoka and other things related to The Clone Wars, it is good. If you haven’t watched it, then watch it. It was done by Dave Filoni, who is responsible for another widely-beloved show, Avatar: The Last Airbender. You may have heard of it. So go, watch. The last two episodes are some of the best television I’ve ever seen. The first season takes a bit to get to get going, but if you ever thought to yourself, “Man, why’d they skip all the cool war shit between Episodes II and III?”, then this is where it’s at. Also, if you watched Solo and wondered “why the fuck is Darth Maul alive?”, then this show will also scratch your itch.

END STAR WARS DISCUSSION

So I landed at Vancouver with a couple hours to burn. While on the first flight, I decided that if the cost were not outlandish, I would treat myself to business class. You only live once, right? (Also this trip is one way and I’m not gonna travel any time soon, so why not). So I go to the gate counter and ask to upgrade. They ask for my documents, including my negative COVID test, which I present on my phone. After some double checking and teeth sucking, I am informed that it must be on paper. u r got 2 b kiddin me. There’s no service desk in the terminal. BUT. There is a lounge for fancy people. Bless the man working that counter — even though the “business” area of the lounge was closed, he printed my docs on his printer. Crisis averted, sleeper seat acquired.

I’m not going to say too much about this fancy seat besides the fact that it was completely new to me, so I spent the first 15 minutes fiddling with everything so I could understand the features I had paid for. Discreetly of course, I wouldn’t want to look like new money, [scoff]. Oh and I took this ridiculous photo:

Sorry it’s blurry, low light conditions.

So, I did eventually land and my infinite comfort came to an end. Immediately after disembarkation, everyone has to take another COVID test. This one was thankfully a saliva-based test, so I successfully avoided having my brain tickled throughout this whole process. They give you a plastic vial and shuffle you into a tiny standing-room-only cubicle so you can spit in peace. The cubicle has photos of lemons and umeboshi (sour pickled plums) captioned with simple “Imagine…” to make it easier to generate saliva. I wanted to take a photo so bad but it was explicitly not permitted to take pictures in the area :(. We were directed to a waiting area for our results to come back, where I just kind of durdled on my phone. ^{I have never written out the word "durdling" in my life.}

The rest of the process was unremarkable and about what you would expect with traveling to a foreign country. The one thing that surprised me was how much I struggled communicating with immigration and customs. Not that I expected it to be easy at all, but I’ve done it before with worse Japanese skills than I have now and it didn’t seem that hard back then. No worries, I have a lot of time to practice now…

Finally, it was time to leave the airport. Due to quarantine measures (even after a series of negative tests…), new arrivals are not allowed to take public transit, including taxis. The relocation group arranged for a private car which was nice instead of lugging my things onto a train then trying to make a variety of connections while exhausted out of my mind.

I’m finishing this blog post from my newly acquired temporary apartment in Shinjuku which is smaller than my living room in San Bruno by a significant margin. Seriously it’s like 300ft2. I can’t even open both my suitcases at the same time. But the toilet has a heated seat and a bidet, so you win some and lose some. This post is already long enough, so more details on this tiny box home in future updates. It’s not like I have a lot of other things to do for the next two weeks of quarantine anyway…